Bisexual in hetero relationship
(Closed) Bisexual with heterosexual tendencies? Bi-curious? Heteroflexibility?
Bees,
I am very hesitant to put this out there (thus the anon account) because I am so confused myself. I hope someone can help instruction me through my feelings? (I don&#;t even know if &#;feelings&#; is the right word for this.) Nonetheless, I was recently listening to a podcast that finally gave me the urge to put this out in the open.
Some background: I&#;ve only ever dated men. I&#;ve only ever had romantic and sexual relationships with men. I am currently married and completely in love with a man. However, I always dream about women.
Since I first learned about porn, I have watched girl-on-girl porn. Male and female porn never turned me on. I possess pretty regular sex dreams involving other women and myself. And, although I think this one is pretty common, I am more than willing to own up when I have a &#;girl crush&#; on another woman.
Regardless, I have never even considered having a relationship with another chick and the thought of having sex with another woman doesn&#;t really appeal to me. I ca
The B+ Squad
Apologies for my laxity in sticking with my daily schedule recently; on top of (picture me gesturing broadly at the state of the world right now) I also just spent the last two weekends helping to facilitate a forty hour training for rape crisis/domestic violence advocates (it was lovely, I own a new team of mentees who I am excited to guide through the first year!). So needless to say… a (bi)tch is tired.
But: I stumbled across (or, rather, got a Google alert about) this wedding planner advice column in which a woman writes in to ask about whether or not she should come out as bisexual to her fiancé. Her question is attractive relatable: she knows she’s bi, she wants to come out, and though said fiancé has always been an LGBT ally, she’s not sure that that will translate to wanting a bi wife — especially since her future in-laws are apparently a bit homophobic. (I don’t know why she wrote in to a wedding planner to receive advice about this, but that’s neither here nor there.)
And the advice itself is generally fine, and roughly along the lines of what I would have
Why Do So Many Bisexuals End Up In “Straight” Relationships?
When I started matchmaking app a woman for the first period after years of happily dating men, I had a go-to joke ready for when I was called upon to explain my sexual orientation to the confused: “I’m half gay. Only on my mom’s side of the family.”
I’m one of those people who’d always misguidedly “hated labels,” and I actively eschewed the term “bisexual” for years. I went on to hang out a number of trans guys, and in my thought, “bi” was also indicative of a gender binary I didn’t believe existed. I’ve since reach to understand that actually, the “bi” implies attraction not to two genders, but to members of both one’s own and other genders, and that the bisexual umbrella includes a roomy rainbow of labels connoting sexual fluidity. These days, I wear the “bisexual” label proudly.
Given all that struggle and growth, my current situation might appear as a surprise: I’m in a committed, long-term partnership with a cisgender man who identifies as straight—just enjoy a startling majority of other pansexual women.
Dan Savage once observed that
What I've learned as a bisexual woman in a straight relationship
Exploring and kind my bisexuality has been a lifelong journey; one that came to being in the European homosexual bars when I lived abroad in
As I made new friends, danced to Beyoncé songs, and watched drag queens get over the stage every Tuesday night, I felt free. I was unapologetically myself, and the sweaty strangers around me loved and accepted me for it.
After returning to the US, I wanted to find my first girlfriend. I didn't expect that a few months later I would start a long-term relationship with a straight man.
With my newfound happiness came a slew of questions. Will I still be accepted in queer spaces? How will I deal with people assuming that I'm vertical, simply because of my partner's gender?
Bisexual people often exist in a gray area, simultaneously ostracized by the LGBTQ+ community as not "gay enough" and heterosexual people as not "straight enough." That may explain why, according to one recent study, most bisexual people say their friends and family don't know their